Dear Thief,
I was having a wonderful time enjoying the weather and playing with my children at the playground today, until you crept out of nowhere and stole my purse right off our picnic blanket. Feel free to keep my fake leather purse from Target, my ten year old wallet, $30 in cash, canceled credit cards, disabled cell phone, diapers, wipes, gum and chap stick. I'd appreciate it if you'd return the pictures of my children, my keys, and my sense of safety, which you've replaced with a sense of paranoia, distrust and vulnerability.
Crime happens everywhere and I was obviously mistaken thinking my purse was safe within eyesight at the family playground. I've never been subjected to much crime, but since moving to Baton Rouge I've been in a hit and run, my car has been broken into, there was a shooting 5 houses away from us and now my purse was stolen. As if the bugs, humidity and swamps weren't enough!
Yours Truly,
The naive, trusting, pregnant woman you stole from today
P.S. I hope you get caught on the gas station surveillance camera trying to use my gas card.